RED LADDER STUDIO NEWSLETTER

Dear Subscriber First Name,

A lot can happen in two weeks, especially when you’re deep in the process of selling a house and buying another. Nothing’s in the bag yet, but maybe next time I write there’ll be something exciting to share. In the meantime, the whole thing is an emotional rollercoaster. There’s just so much uncertainty. I don’t think I’ve had a proper night’s sleep in over a week.

A while back I asked you to send in some writing prompts in the form of questions. One of them was: What makes you feel insecure? Well, nothing makes me feel insecure! I don’t mean nothing makes me feel insecure—there are loads of things—but one of them is nothing. By that I mean, not knowing. The text that goes unanswered, the friend who hasn’t called, the contract on a new house that hasn’t arrived yet, the survey that’s still not been done. Have you noticed how insecurity can creep in when there’s just… nothing? I’ve written a bit more about this below ⬇️

I was quite blown away by all the responses to my piece on A system for creative Dharma study. It’s something I’d really love to share more about. I’ve decided to put together a little step-by-step course for anyone who’d like to set up their own system for Dharma study—or for any other kind of study or writing, really. I’ll have to wait until the house stuff settles before I can set the dates, but I’ll keep you posted.

The final (for now) Dharma Bundle is detailed below. I’ve had lots of requests to keep them available somehow, so I’m looking into creating some kind of archive. In the meantime, you can still sign up—it’s £9 a month and you get access to all 13 Dharma Bundles until the end of June. That’s at least 13 led meditations, 26 Dharma videos and more! Maybe the bundles could keep you company on a solo retreat? Or form part of your daily practice for a while.

The May Dharma Bundle is now live ⬇️
The Dharma Bundle is a ‘bundle’ of dharma resources, thoughtfully made and beautifully packaged. Short, illustrated Dharma videos and audio talks. Audio meditations and reflections. Creative assignments. Zoom meetups. Find out more here.

May’s Dharma Bundle 

Making the Dharma your own

This month’s Dharma Bundle is a creative take on The 3 Levels of Wisdom. First we take in the teachings, then we go through a process of making them our own, until we finally realise the truth of the teachings in our own experience. 

• Article: A system for creative Dharma study

• Video or audio: Creative ways to reflect on the Dharma

• Audio Meditation: Bringing reflection into meditation

• Video or audio: Insight, truly making the Dharma your own

• Creative Assignment: Falling in love with the Dharma

• Video: Zoom workshop recording

LIVE ZOOM WORKSHOP
Design your own creative Dharma study system

In this month’s article, I share my own evolving approach to Dharma study. In our workshop, we’ll explore how each of us can create a personalised Dharma study system that fits our own unique character.

📅 Saturday, 24th May
⏰ 9:30–11:00 PM (BST)

On my radar this week

TV - Gardeners’ World:
“Hello, and welcome to Gardeners’ World.” Monty Don says these words at the start of every episode, usually with birdsong in the background and shots of blossoming trees. That is, until the first episode of the latest series when he changed the script. Thankfully, it was just that once.
Gardeners’ World isn’t where you go for excitement. It’s the kind of TV you fall asleep to—soothing as a warm bath. But it’s also educational; I almost always end up noting something down. It’s been a godsend these past couple of weeks.

Book - Water, Wood and Wild Things:
I bought Water, Wood and Wild Things for a friend after reading a review. She enjoyed it so much that she sent me a copy in the post. Subtitled Learning Craft and Cultivation in a Japanese Mountain Town, the book tells the story of how Brooklyn-based artist and food writer Hannah Kirshner ends up apprenticing with a "saké evangelist" in a remote Japanese mountain town. Along the way, she learns about tea, woodturning, charcoal-making, papermaking, and other traditional crafts.

Art - Louisiana Denmark:
We might soon be living just over an hour from Copenhagen. I’m looking forward to country life, but I know I’ll need somewhere to get a culture fix. I loved the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art, and I recently discovered their website—it’s full of videos, like this one of Marina Abramović talking about Giacometti. There are 750 more on the Louisiana Channel. Maybe one of your favourite artists is there?

TV - Adolescence:
I’ve been a big fan of Stephen Graham since seeing him in This is England 20 years ago. Adolescence is an intense drama about a young lad—Graham plays his dad—who’s accused of murdering a girl from his school. The idea of children killing one another used to be unthinkable, but now it’s a regular news story. This film looks at some of the reasons that might be the case. The acting is incredible and, like his last few projects, each episode is shot in a single take.

Diary extracts:

Nothing makes me insecure

I sent a message to a dear friend, and they haven’t replied. Things have felt a little off for a while—I don’t know why. Nothing’s happened between us, but now this: silence.

To be fair, it’s only been a few days, but my mind is frantically trying to fill the empty space with reasons. Are they upset with me for not visiting when I was in the UK? Do they think I’m holding something against them from the summer? Maybe they believe I disapprove of their choices. Or perhaps... they’re just bored of me? The truth is: I don’t know.

Do you like a murder mystery? Or prefer an episode of Grand Designs? Or maybe you’re a fan of David Attenborough’s nature programmes? Though they seem wildly different, they all share one thing: an unknown that needs to be known. Whether it’s figuring out whodunnit in Midsomer Murders, wondering if they’ll get the roof on within budget, or hoping the polar bear makes it through the winter, we’re drawn in by the need to solve a problem.

The mind loves a problem. So when there’s a vacuum—an unresolved situation—it rushes in, treating it like a puzzle that must be solved.

We’re in the middle of buying a house right now, and here are just a few of the unknowns:

• Will the survey show up any problems?

• Have we offered too much?

• Will we get a buyer for our place?

• And how much will it sell for?

• Will we need a new roof? How much would that cost?

• What kind of wallpaper would look good in the bedroom?

• Will the shoe rack fit in the hall?

We actually have the answer to all these questions, and a thousand more that are keeping us awake at night. The answer is: we don’t know.

But we can’t settle for that. Instead, we speculate. We loop through every possible answer, playing out each scenario. In fact, if we cut out speculation entirely, we’d probably reduce our daily communication by about 80%.

I’ve always known speculation is, at best, a waste of time—and at worst, an exhausting way of ramping up anxiety. And yet, it’s oddly addictive. I suppose that’s part of how we’ve evolved into such sophisticated problem-solvers.

Maybe the next stage of evolution is learning to be at peace with not knowing. To sit in the discomfort of uncertainty without needing to fill it.

Why not give it a try—give up speculating for 24 hours and see what happens?

I decided to call the friend. They were delighted to hear from me. "Ah, sorry I never replied to your message," they said. "I was so happy to hear from you."

I asked you for some writing prompts in the form of questions and ‘What makes you insecure?’ was one of many, thank you for getting me thinking!

A quote I’m thinking about:

“In an healthy organism an emotion is a short lived response.”

- Eckhart Tolle